Til, the sentence that reorganises the entire series is this one:
“Patience was the word I used for waiting and waiting was the word I used for collecting.”
Wade has been the good one. Gentle, unhurried, never forcing. Twelve chapters of that. And you've just revealed that gentle waiting is what James did too — “James was patient, too. He waited. And then he collected.” The only difference is the manner.
That's a genuinely brave thing to do to your own protagonist, because it means every generous moment he's had in this book has to be re-read.
And the account is the answer, and it's the best idea you've had in this series.
Not money to keep him. Money to let him leave. “This is so you never stay anywhere because you can't afford to leave.” And then, to the therapist: “If he can't go, none of this counts.”
Romance almost always writes possession — I'd do anything to keep you. You've written a man who works out that the only ethical thing he can offer is the exit, and hands it over without conditions. Fifteen thousand dollars specifically so that staying becomes a choice rather than a lack of options.
Then there's the island, which I loved before I understood why.
“The island had a counter between two people and nowhere to put your feet up, no cushions to collapse into, no easy way to close the distance. It asked you to stay upright.” Jesse chooses the furniture that makes intimacy impossible, because intimacy is what dissolves his boundaries. Consent architecture, in granite. And then every important scene in the chapter happens there.
And “I know” as the diagnostic. Jesse listens for it “the way you listen for a floorboard you know is going to creak.” Wade doesn't say it — three answers, three specific things, no easy bridge. And then Jesse gives him the only credit he's got: “That's the first time I've believed it.”
Then you run the same phrase through two more rooms. Dr. Levine: “Stop saying that.”Jake: “Don't do that thing. Don't say I know like it settles anything.” Three people in three settings all identifying the same verbal tic as the place where Wade stops doing the work.
Jake's section is the best writing in the chapter. He arrives expecting the usual performance — “the confession that was really a boast, the vulnerability that was really a bid for admiration” — and gets a man telling a story flat, to the table, without once checking the room for its reaction. Jake notices “that” before he notices the content.
And his anger is correct and you let him have it, at length, without softening it. “This is not your story to hand over.” He's right. Wade did that without asking. You don't excuse it.
But then: “You gave me a map. And you did it because you think you're going to fail.” And Jake stays anyway, and pays for both meals, and stands in the parking lot afterward because he doesn't trust his hands on the wheel.
“That's not a compliment. Don't wear it like one. It means if you drop him, you don't get to pretend gravity did it.”
And the new metric, which retires the old one completely: “When he says no and doesn't spend the next twelve hours waiting for me to punish him for it.”
Then the last scene. Jesse crosses the cushion. “Take this off.” Not sex — skin. The first thing he's asked for in the entire book that isn't payment. And Wade says one word.
I still think Jesse needs professional help though, I really liked the idea of setting up the account for Jesse not many people would see that option or do it.
Jake needs to sort his shit out maybe start with why he stayed with that POS husband of his for so long. Not sure he would be any better for Jesse than Wade, sure he probably wouldn't do what Wade did but I dont think hes ready to give Jesse what he needs either.
Also figure out why hes friends with Wade, he seems very cold towards him most of the time, you can give your friends some hard truths as well as comforting them not sure if the coldness is intentional or just lost in the story, but haven't really seen the friendship between them.
Once again man this chapter dragged me straight back into their world lile im living it with them, hands down the most gripping story i have read recently on here or in a novel, bravo sir.
Knowing Jesse's history now, I don't know why he would stay in the same house with Wade after the party. It's like he chose to stay in the same type of situation voluntarily. And then how does he get to the point where he feels comfortable enough to then tell Wade about what happened with James? (And then Wade (predictibly) tells Jake without asking Jesse first. I don't buy Wade talking to Jake in the hopes that Jake will step in when he fucks up again--I think he uses Jake as a free therapist.)
How does Jesse get to the point where he feels comfortable working through his understandable issues with sex with the most recent guy who treated him like he owed him his body?
Jesse staying seems like he's accepting this treatment--like he is reliving his prior victimization. Voluntarily. At this point, Jesse staying raises more red flags for me. He needs therapy and people who don't act like he owes them.
First thing, I am extremely happy for what this chapter provided us. Before I can loose it lapping up Wade in compliments, I have a small bone to pick with Jesse. There is no doubt and no implication that what happened with him was traumatic, suggesting otherwise makes the person fundamentally insensitive. However, I get it how Wade's entire perception changed when Jesse divulged about his past. I don't think the weight and the brunt of hate that everyone and even me included, have leveled on Wade is justified to a huge extent. He never knew, what the cost of patience and waiting was to Jesse. Suggesting this to be Wade's fault completely is deeply unfair, also Jesse not talking about it and shutting it down is understandable but its a question as to what extent it is acceptable. Life was unfair and harsh to Jesse and his lack of trust is also acceptable but here the question is far from whether he can give Wade the trust again, its about his own journey to healing! As much as I want to say otherwise but that first step of speaking has to come from you and not someone else forcing out of you! So holding Wade hostage for a crime he did commit but never knew the full extent of it is unfair!
It is not about self-respect or even resigning himself to the fate that he has to barter his body for kindness extended to him. Wade could have been and is many things but a predator, NO! Making no mistake here, Wade has already freed Jesse and kept the door wide open if he chooses to leave. And giving him the money to leave and not as leverage or even blackmail is a huge step as redemption. I will say it to this extent bluntly, I don't think I would have offered it to Jesse if it was me in place of Wade.
Lets all take a moment of special mention to Jake, Wade's therapist and Jesse himself. They all picked up the mirror and held Wade's shoulder firmly enough to bruise to show him where his words stopped mattering, serious and just a performance to gain sympathy and brownie points!
Wade went as far as handing Jake the information to make him realize how he could be a better partner to Jesse, that is not just a fail-safe that is his own fear of how he might screw up. Again, for a person like Wade who has never understood the selfless, that is not just admirable for accepting his flaws but really holding himself responsible to change for Jesse. This is indisputable proof that Wade has fallen in love with Jesse deeply!
The theme of this story was never about Love and Happily Ever After! It is bluntly that not always Love is enough to make two people stay together! For what its worth, Wade really has my respect today! All my past triggering comments and anger towards him is quite an extent reduced. I won't say if Jesse will stay with Wade, both are set to become better people for their respective partners in the future! By far the most honest, messy but beautiful chapter of this series!!!!
Til, the sentence that reorganises the entire series is this one:
“Patience was the word I used for waiting and waiting was the word I used for collecting.”
Wade has been the good one. Gentle, unhurried, never forcing. Twelve chapters of that. And you've just revealed that gentle waiting is what James did too — “James was patient, too. He waited. And then he collected.” The only difference is the manner.
That's a genuinely brave thing to do to your own protagonist, because it means every generous moment he's had in this book has to be re-read.
And the account is the answer, and it's the best idea you've had in this series.
Not money to keep him. Money to let him leave. “This is so you never stay anywhere because you can't afford to leave.” And then, to the therapist: “If he can't go, none of this counts.”
Romance almost always writes possession — I'd do anything to keep you. You've written a man who works out that the only ethical thing he can offer is the exit, and hands it over without conditions. Fifteen thousand dollars specifically so that staying becomes a choice rather than a lack of options.
Then there's the island, which I loved before I understood why.
“The island had a counter between two people and nowhere to put your feet up, no cushions to collapse into, no easy way to close the distance. It asked you to stay upright.” Jesse chooses the furniture that makes intimacy impossible, because intimacy is what dissolves his boundaries. Consent architecture, in granite. And then every important scene in the chapter happens there.
And “I know” as the diagnostic. Jesse listens for it “the way you listen for a floorboard you know is going to creak.” Wade doesn't say it — three answers, three specific things, no easy bridge. And then Jesse gives him the only credit he's got: “That's the first time I've believed it.”
Then you run the same phrase through two more rooms. Dr. Levine: “Stop saying that.”Jake: “Don't do that thing. Don't say I know like it settles anything.” Three people in three settings all identifying the same verbal tic as the place where Wade stops doing the work.
Jake's section is the best writing in the chapter. He arrives expecting the usual performance — “the confession that was really a boast, the vulnerability that was really a bid for admiration” — and gets a man telling a story flat, to the table, without once checking the room for its reaction. Jake notices “that” before he notices the content.
And his anger is correct and you let him have it, at length, without softening it. “This is not your story to hand over.” He's right. Wade did that without asking. You don't excuse it.
But then: “You gave me a map. And you did it because you think you're going to fail.” And Jake stays anyway, and pays for both meals, and stands in the parking lot afterward because he doesn't trust his hands on the wheel.
“That's not a compliment. Don't wear it like one. It means if you drop him, you don't get to pretend gravity did it.”
And the new metric, which retires the old one completely: “When he says no and doesn't spend the next twelve hours waiting for me to punish him for it.”
Then the last scene. Jesse crosses the cushion. “Take this off.” Not sex — skin. The first thing he's asked for in the entire book that isn't payment. And Wade says one word.
Yeah.
Extraordinary chapter.
— Arden Tomas 🏳️🌈
Fuuuuuck ok man ill admit it, im team Wade 🙄
I still think Jesse needs professional help though, I really liked the idea of setting up the account for Jesse not many people would see that option or do it.
Jake needs to sort his shit out maybe start with why he stayed with that POS husband of his for so long. Not sure he would be any better for Jesse than Wade, sure he probably wouldn't do what Wade did but I dont think hes ready to give Jesse what he needs either.
Also figure out why hes friends with Wade, he seems very cold towards him most of the time, you can give your friends some hard truths as well as comforting them not sure if the coldness is intentional or just lost in the story, but haven't really seen the friendship between them.
Once again man this chapter dragged me straight back into their world lile im living it with them, hands down the most gripping story i have read recently on here or in a novel, bravo sir.
Knowing Jesse's history now, I don't know why he would stay in the same house with Wade after the party. It's like he chose to stay in the same type of situation voluntarily. And then how does he get to the point where he feels comfortable enough to then tell Wade about what happened with James? (And then Wade (predictibly) tells Jake without asking Jesse first. I don't buy Wade talking to Jake in the hopes that Jake will step in when he fucks up again--I think he uses Jake as a free therapist.)
How does Jesse get to the point where he feels comfortable working through his understandable issues with sex with the most recent guy who treated him like he owed him his body?
Jesse staying seems like he's accepting this treatment--like he is reliving his prior victimization. Voluntarily. At this point, Jesse staying raises more red flags for me. He needs therapy and people who don't act like he owes them.
Seems like Wade wants Jesse to leave. Setting up Jake to take care of Jesse if a breakup does happen.
Til,
First thing, I am extremely happy for what this chapter provided us. Before I can loose it lapping up Wade in compliments, I have a small bone to pick with Jesse. There is no doubt and no implication that what happened with him was traumatic, suggesting otherwise makes the person fundamentally insensitive. However, I get it how Wade's entire perception changed when Jesse divulged about his past. I don't think the weight and the brunt of hate that everyone and even me included, have leveled on Wade is justified to a huge extent. He never knew, what the cost of patience and waiting was to Jesse. Suggesting this to be Wade's fault completely is deeply unfair, also Jesse not talking about it and shutting it down is understandable but its a question as to what extent it is acceptable. Life was unfair and harsh to Jesse and his lack of trust is also acceptable but here the question is far from whether he can give Wade the trust again, its about his own journey to healing! As much as I want to say otherwise but that first step of speaking has to come from you and not someone else forcing out of you! So holding Wade hostage for a crime he did commit but never knew the full extent of it is unfair!
It is not about self-respect or even resigning himself to the fate that he has to barter his body for kindness extended to him. Wade could have been and is many things but a predator, NO! Making no mistake here, Wade has already freed Jesse and kept the door wide open if he chooses to leave. And giving him the money to leave and not as leverage or even blackmail is a huge step as redemption. I will say it to this extent bluntly, I don't think I would have offered it to Jesse if it was me in place of Wade.
Lets all take a moment of special mention to Jake, Wade's therapist and Jesse himself. They all picked up the mirror and held Wade's shoulder firmly enough to bruise to show him where his words stopped mattering, serious and just a performance to gain sympathy and brownie points!
Wade went as far as handing Jake the information to make him realize how he could be a better partner to Jesse, that is not just a fail-safe that is his own fear of how he might screw up. Again, for a person like Wade who has never understood the selfless, that is not just admirable for accepting his flaws but really holding himself responsible to change for Jesse. This is indisputable proof that Wade has fallen in love with Jesse deeply!
The theme of this story was never about Love and Happily Ever After! It is bluntly that not always Love is enough to make two people stay together! For what its worth, Wade really has my respect today! All my past triggering comments and anger towards him is quite an extent reduced. I won't say if Jesse will stay with Wade, both are set to become better people for their respective partners in the future! By far the most honest, messy but beautiful chapter of this series!!!!
Til, yet again this is magic!!!!!